Tags: deployment

ButterflyEye

Screaming

How can a heart break this way
How could there be nothing I could say
How did I stand there and watch you go
You walked to that plane
My eyes followed you so

I watched your every move through the glass
You turned to see if I was still looking
And waved a wave goodbye
I stood silent, nearly choking

Standing silently alone
Inside I was screaming
Screaming at you
Screaming at me
Screaming at the madness
Screaming at the insurmountable wall of sadness
I was screaming
Screaming.
But out of all the people,
There was no one to hear me screaming.

I stayed; your plane taxied the runway
I waited as you took to the sky
I waited there; nothing I could say
I was on the periphery of having just died
Right there
With everyone all around watching me
Screaming for help from anyone
But no one saw, no one heard the emergency

My heart lay there on the ground
Ripped right from my chest
No one noticed the blood all around
No one turned in such a time of need
Strangers, all that was of my company

I retrieved my severed heart
Couldn’t stand to have it trampled on
Wouldn’t have made it far
But it was angels that carried me along
Angels carried me away from that gate
And I was screaming
Let me stay here and wait
I know he’s coming back
Can’t I just stay
I will wait earnestly
For my love
To come back to me

Soldier boy
You Army toy
Come home soon
I can’t hear you when I listen under the moon
Can you hear me
As I scream
Come back, come back to me
Come home to me
I’m waiting
Can you hear me half a world away
I wait and pretend you are safe
But I am screaming inside
Truth, is so damn hard to hide
When it’s screaming

When it’s screaming at you
Screaming at me
Screaming at this world of madness
Screaming at this insurmountable wall of sadness
ButterflyEye

Departure in St Petersburg

  • We stood together and watched the sunrise over Tampa Bay. I don't remember the last sunrise we watched together but I will always remember this one. This one marks a time in our lives that I never thought I'd come to experience. After 11 & 1/2 years of marriage we are separating. We hold hands before the sun breaks the horizon. Tears come and go while we wait. I don't know how I'll get along without him, but I will. I hold him close to me. He feels so good and all the rest of the world just fades away. For a few moments anyway while I forget the reality of the morning; the reality is that this country is at war. That reality has crossed boundaries with my reality and is taking my husband, my lover and my friend away from me. Today is the day we say good-bye. I hate the war. I hate that my husband is leaving but as his wife, I have to support him. My opinions don't matter now. My politics aren't important now. Just a few more minutes together seems the most important thing we can have. Another touch, another kiss..

.

I'm sending him off with love, prayers of protection, and good medicine in his medicine bag. May the Creator God keep him safe in all he does.
I'll see Lee again before he leaves for Iraq. There will be a Departure Ceremony in Jacksonville on Saturday.

Here are some links about todays happenings: